I got a call from my old phone number two days ago. It was from a girl who had just been assigned my previous Tucson cell phone number, who wanted to know why the hell she was getting so many calls for me. I had to explain to her that, defying all logic, T-Mobile had reassigned my old phone number just three months after I had canceled my service. So she’s been getting all my old text messages, including (oops) my bank account balances and spending habits, my new message notices and stuff from people who did not get my new number.

I called and talked to her, she was very nice about it. She also mentioned that I had won tickets to a concert (probably a publicist) and was offered a role in a movie (dubious, but exciting). If this was you, and you’d like to offer me those things, called my 347, please. I’ve left the 520 behind me.